first daidala typeface

APRIL 1, 2003: FOR IMMEDIATE WORLDWIDE RELEASE

After one and-a-half months of exceedingly hard work, which has included two trips to the public library to page through some old books, three nearly uninterrupted hours of testing, and the interception of an email conversation between two local masters of the discipline who shall remain nameless (although they do, it should be noted, have names), daidala is proud to release its first typeface.

At once elegiac, lyrical, transitional, modernist, postmodernist, and deconstructivist, it is a face that nonetheless defies classification. And so it is called, as a tangential homage to the typeface whose reputation and utility it shall soon undoubtedly eclipse, Timely New Roman Nose.

Designer Jon Coltz feels that “it’s the only typeface that really seems to matter right now...the only one relevant to our generation.” The Nose is available as an 18-character face in one weight and width, and in Microsoft Windows format only. Says Coltz, “Bill Gates has really done so much for the computing world...why insult him by making a font available for any other, weaker platform?”

The designer has carefully and wisely chosen to omit the upper and lower case f, g, l, o, q, and x–z. “Anyone who knows anything about type knows how incredibly difficult these characters are to draw...one morning, after my third Egg McMuffin, I had an epiphany: Just screw it. Y’know, kind of like the opposite of Just Do It. It was,” Coltz continues, eyes growing moist, “the greatest moment of my working life.”

Subscribing to the same logic, only the numerals 1 and 7 are included. (It is worth mentioning, however, that 0, 2–6, and 8–9 may be drawn and released in the future as an expert set.) Coltz adds, “In addition, all of those characters that sit on the same keys as the numbers, like the little ‘a’ with the circle around it...yeah, well, they got the boot, too, because I really don’t know what they mean. I don't think anyone else does for that matter, either.”

A bold weight, italic variants, and small caps were contemplated momentarily, then omitted, because the designer felt that “they detracted, and not in a nice way, from the spirit of the face. Besides, I’ve got a life.”

Expert opinion has already weighed in en masse on Timely New Roman Nose. Bobby Slimjim claims, “Whenever I use it, I find that it brings out the calmer, gentler me that lies deeply – way deeply – within.” And Suzanne vanderLicketySplit says, “It’s a shocking, disturbing face – ever since I first saw The Nose I’ve been finding it difficult to sleep at night. I may sue.”

Timely New Roman Nose will soon be freely downloadable for a period of one week, after which a simple $100.00 US per-use fee will apply. Coltz explains the licensing structure: “Anytime anyone uses it, they must mail me a check for $100. It’s that easy. A letter to Mom? A hundred bucks. Another to Dad? Another hundred bucks. Violate it and I’m all over your ass. I’ll be as rich as Croesus!”

Timely New Roman Nose: Pick it now!

01-April 2003